But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
