First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
