It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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