we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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