Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
