bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
