dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
