Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
