tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
