This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
