singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
