Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
