After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
