Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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