You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
