Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
