One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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