Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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