Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
