Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
