I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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