i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
