So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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