The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i drank out of a bidet.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
