If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
