Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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