Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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