why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
