margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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