Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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