Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
