Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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