This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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