Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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