They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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