She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
