Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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