I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
