I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My feet surprised me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
