guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
