glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
