You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
