you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
People in love make me want to vomit
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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