just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
