Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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