Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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