So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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