The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
