I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
