I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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