I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't turn off my feet"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i think my cat just said my name.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
