omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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