I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
