susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
