Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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