I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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