we're chasing vodka with high fives
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
