I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
