SEEEEXXX PLEASE
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I need water and some morals
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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